i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
