One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
