i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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