I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
