why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
