If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
