I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
worst night to have a conscience
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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