Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
How external is "for external use only"?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
