So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
