I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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