Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize