What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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