I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
