I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
