Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im six kinds of drunk right now
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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