How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
