so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
