just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
