Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
