one might say we're banned from that church
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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