Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize