He asked me if I "almost moaned"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My feet surprised me
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