I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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