Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
