Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
