My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
