I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
