If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
