i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
