Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
