As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
