I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
