She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
