so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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