It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
