Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
