Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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