she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
