I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
