I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
not ubering you a puppy
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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