ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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