I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
