you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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