its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
