don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
