she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
