I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i think my cat just said my name.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
