Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
