i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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