belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
