Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Too much gin, very little bucket
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
