Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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