He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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