I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
