matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
