You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
