Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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