11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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